Bandits in the Bushes

Dear readers, golf clubs pride themselves on their security. Private gates, watchful staff, and an honor system that's worked for centuries. But at one Southern California club, a perfectly planned heist (executed twice!) proved that no matter how comfortable you feel you should never take your eye off the ball.

*The story centers on a signature par-3 at the property's edge, where players face a challenging downhill shot over a ravine to a well-bunkered green. The elevated tee box sits about 80 yards up a steep hill from where members typically leave their bags - because who wants to lug a full set of clubs uphill for just for one shot? However, what none of the members realized was that with zero visibility between the tee box and the bags below, this setup created a perfect blind spot for our enterprising thieves.

During a busy weekend morning, several groups playing back-to-back tee times reported items missing from their bags - including a Rolex and, remarkably, an envelope containing a significant wad of cash (significant is a relative term but let's just say that losing this amount would sting even the wealthiest member of the club). Additional wallets were emptied and each group reported something of value taken - it was a big score.

The thieves had clearly done their homework. A rarely-used utility access point near the hole provided the perfect entry through a ravine that catches mountain runoff. Dense bushes offered ideal cover for their operation.

Their timing was impeccable - they'd wait for players to climb the hill, knowing they had about five minutes to work with. By the time anyone noticed the missing items, the perpetrators were long gone through the same hidden escape route they'd scouted.

When an identical theft occurred a couple months later, member reports of several young men spotted in the ravine pointed to an unsettling truth: this was no random crime. The precision timing, the knowledge of member habits, and familiarity with the course's hidden access points all suggested someone with insider experience. Suspicion fell on former bag room employees - or more likely, friends of theirs who had heard tales of members' casual approach to securing valuables.

The police investigation went exactly as you'd expect in George Gascon's Los Angeles - which is to say, nowhere. Despite eyewitness descriptions and mid-five figures in stolen goods, the case joined thousands of others gathering dust at the precinct. The club, realizing justice would have to come from their own groundskeeping budget rather than law enforcement, responded with an aggressive landscaping campaign, clearing the dense bushes and installing additional security measures.

The thefts stopped as quickly as they began, but the mystery remains unsolved. These days, skittish members, unconvinced that the landscaping solution is enough, get an extra workout hauling their bags to the tee box as a precautionary measure. Others simply take the minimal approach and leave valuables in their locker, bringing only what they need to the golf course.

So the next time you wonder if you have too much cash in your wallet or if the watch you're wearing is a little too expensive, let us be your guiding voice - it is. Even in the seemingly safe confines of a private country club, there's always someone trying to separate you from your money - whether they're lurking in the bushes or shooting net 65 whenever there's cash on the line!

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

What did you think of all the Major League references?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ I mean, that was a lot of Major League references (5)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 You guys change names anyway, why not make it fun. I liked it! (17)

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ What is Major League? (1)

Thank you as always to those who took a moment to vote in our poll! It sounds like the next time we have an opportunity to work in a sports movie reference we should do it… and while there was no contest, special thanks to Mike R. for adding an additional reference with “Hey bartender, looks like Jobu needs a refill!”

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Golf clubs weren’t the only things swinging at this swanky 1960’s East Coast club

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