CCC Presents: The Ex-Athletes of Golf

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Every country club has them - former athletes who’ve traded in playbooks, dugouts, and locker rooms for scorecards, sand traps, and swing thoughts. But old habits die hard. These are the guys who still treat golf like it’s Game 7, bringing their power-first mindset to a sport that demands patience, precision, and a little humility.

This week, we examine The Power Players - the bombers, bruisers, and brawlers who muscle their way around the course like it’s their old arena. From ex-QBs barking audibles on the tee box to hockey enforcers turning sand traps into penalty boxes, these guys play loud - and often badly.

Next week, we’ll meet their more disciplined counterparts: the tacticians, technicians, and tempo-obsessed freaks who bring a scalpel to a sport that doesn’t always reward precision. But for now, grab your driver, tighten your glove, and tee it high - because it’s time to meet the big swingers.

THE QUARTERBACK

There he stands on the first tee, surveying the fairway like it's 4th and long with the championship on the line. The Ex-Quarterback approaches golf like it's still football season, and he's calling all the plays.

His pre-shot routine involves audibles that would confuse an NFL defensive coordinator. "OMAHA! BLUE 42! DRIVER HOT!" he barks, before changing his club selection three times. His playing partners are just the offensive line he never had - convenient targets to blame when his aggressive "game plan" sends a ball deep into the woods.

Every hole requires a strategic briefing. He'll gather your foursome in a huddle, diagramming the hole on his golf glove using X's and O's. "We're going to execute a play-action off the tee, then check down to a mid-iron approach if the safety - I mean, bunker - is in play."

When putting, he crouches behind the ball, reading the green like it's an opposing defense. "I'm seeing a zone coverage here," he'll announce gravely. "Cover-two cups right to left, just gotta watch the blitz off the edge."

Natural Habitat: Holding court at the practice green, going over his round at the 19th hole like a film room session.

Warning Signs: Uses phrases like "red zone" when approaching the green and "field position" when discussing course management.

THE COUNTERPART: THE WIDE RECEIVER Don't let the Quarterback's commander act fool you - it's the Wide Receivers who truly believe they own the course. They arrive in custom golf carts with personalized vanity plates, designer sunglasses, and gloves that perfectly match their shoes, belt, AND marker. Every drive is followed by "You see that? That's why they need to get me the ball more!" Despite middling scores, they constantly remind you of that one birdie on 7 ("Did you SEE that approach shot?!"). When putting goes sideways, it's always the green's fault - "This course never gives me a good roll!" They'll sigh dramatically when forced to wait, demand the cart with the better speaker system, and will hold out for a better course if your club isn’t nice enough. The Quarterback may call the shots, but The Receiver is always right there to second guess them.

THE SLUGGER

The Ex-Baseball Player arrives at the first tee with a ritual that would make MLB's most superstitious batter blush. He adjusts his gloves repeatedly, takes three practice swings exactly, then steps away to spit and adjust his hat before finally addressing the ball.

Distance is his only religion. "This dogleg is what we call a hanging curveball," he'll say with a wink, proceeding to ignore the 90-degree turn in the fairway and instead aim straight for the green 380 yards away. Water hazards, forests, neighboring fairways - all just outfield walls to clear in his mind.

His swing bears a suspicious resemblance to his batting stance, leading to towering pop-ups and wicked hooks that would make a pitching coach nod appreciatively. "I got all of that one," he'll declare, as his ball sails majestically... directly into the parking lot.

He divides the course into "innings" and evaluates his performance using baseball stats. "I batted .300 today with two homers," he'll announce proudly after carding a 94.

Natural Habitat: Crushing beers at the turn while regaling everyone with tales of the 450-foot homer he hit in high school, completely unconcerned that his group is now two holes behind.

Warning Signs: Leaves a trail of sunflower seeds everywhere he goes; abandoned "spitters" (disgusting water bottles or beer cans filled with tobacco juice) found by horrified groundskeepers days later.

THE COUNTERPART: THE HURLER Don't tell The Sluggers this, but The Hurlers are way better golfers. Pitching requires a mix of balance, explosive power and accuracy that dovetails perfectly into the golf swing. You can spot them by their meticulous pre-shot routines - the same focused ritual before every swing, reminiscent of their days on the mound. While the Slugger is busy trying to drive the green on a 430-yard par 4, the ex-pitcher is methodically working the ball both ways, hitting controlled fades and draws that find fairways. They understand tempo, sequencing, and the value of strategy over raw power. Sluggers just slug - pitchers play chess with the course. Check the club championships: if it's an ex-ballplayer, more often than not the one holding the trophy will be the one that worked from the mound, not the batters box.

THE POWER FORWARD

The Ex-Basketball Player approaches the golf course like he's still on the hardwood, bringing unwarranted showmanship to the country club. He's easy to identify by his unnecessarily baggy shorts that hover just above his knees, high-top golf shoes that look suspiciously like basketball sneakers with soft spikes, and the constant need to high-five everyone after even the most routine par. His golf bag is festooned with his old team colors, and he can't help but call the golf cart the "team bus."

Every decent shot is celebrated with a vigor that rattles the clubhouse windows. "FROM DOWNTOWN!" he'll announce after a birdie putt, hand raised in follow-through position for a full 10 seconds while his playing partners awkwardly wait to continue.

His 6'9" frame hunches uncomfortably over clubs that are comically undersized for him, having refused the pro's suggestion to get a custom fitting. "I'll adjust to the equipment," he insists, despite a swing that resembles a folding chair being opened in a closet. The length that made him dominant in basketball becomes his greatest liability as he struggles to find a consistent plane.

He approaches golf as a team sport trapped in individual packaging. "Great assist," he'll earnestly tell you after advice that led to his double-bogey. His massive hands engulf the grip, leading to a delicate touch around the greens that genuinely surprises everyone, himself included.

Natural Habitat: The short game practice area, where his surprising touch around the greens draws whispers from onlookers who can't reconcile his graceful chip shots with a putting stance that requires him to bend like he's picking up a dropped towel.

Warning Signs: His shadow covers three foursomes, his golf glove could double as a rain cover for your bag, and he refers to losing a wager as “taking a charge.”

THE COUNTERPART: THE POINT GUARD The ex-Power Forward might look impressive bombing drives, but it's the Point Guards who consistently card the lower scores. Years of court vision translate perfectly to course management, and those soft hands that delivered no-look passes now deliver delicate chip shots. While Power Forwards are trying to athletically overpower the course, Point Guards are reading its defenses, strategically setting up the next shot, and maintaining the patience developed through orchestrating an offense. Basketball's floor generals understand that golf, like a well-executed fast break, is about angles, timing, and making the smart play - not the spectacular one.

THE ENFORCER

The Ex-Hockey Player brings a chilling intensity to the summer game. He approaches each shot like he's racing against a power play clock, with a pre-shot routine that's less waggle and more warpath.

His golf attire is a puzzling blend of collared shirts and hockey sensibilities - compression sleeves in 90-degree heat, the occasional unauthorized wrist guard, and sunglasses worn backwards like they're hockey helmet visors. In cold weather, be prepared for him to show up in his old team jacket, complete with embroidered name and position.

When faced with a challenging lie, he'll grip the club like he's cross-checking an opponent. "Time to get physical with this one," he'll growl, before taking a divot that park rangers would classify as an environmental disaster.

His golf cart driving would make a Zamboni operator wince. "Let's hit the fast ice," he'll say, taking corners at alarming speeds and considering cart path regulations more "suggestions" than rules.

Natural Habitat: The rough, which he refers to as "the boards," using wedges to take violent slap shots at partially buried balls.

Warning Signs: Divot marks that form a perfect straight line extending two feet past the ball and the lingering scent of Bengay mixing with last night's Molson from his pores during early morning rounds.

THE COUNTERPART: THE GOALTENDER While Enforcers hack their way through the rough, ex-Hockey Goalies quietly card rounds that make club pros take notice. Their entire hockey careers were built on patience, positioning, and performing under pressure - three pillars of good golf. Goalies developed extraordinary hand-eye coordination, mental toughness, and the ability to stay perfectly still then explode into precise movement. They're comfortable being alone with their thoughts, a crucial skill when standing over a six-foot par putt. Most telling: while Enforcers blame their clubs, the course, and the weather for bad shots, Goalies - accustomed to being the last line of defense - simply acknowledge the mistake and make adjustments. The hockey world's most cerebral position produces golf's most cerebral players.

Whether it’s the Quarterback trying to read greens like cover-2, the Slugger swinging for dingers on a 410-yard par four, or the Enforcer leaving behind more divots than memories, The Power Players remind us that muscle memory isn’t always your friend in golf.

But stay tuned - because next week we’ll bring you Part Two: The Precision Specialists, where former tennis players, curlers, runners, and soccer stars prove that obsessing over mechanics can be just as entertaining (and occasionally infuriating) as brute strength!

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

🏌️‍♂️ CCC Poll: Who Played the Waitlist Game Worst?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Harrison "The Shark" Caldwell 🦈 Tanked his guy’s chances - and got his Range Rover keyed. Tough back nine.

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Phillip Thornton IV 🎩 Thought a last name was a golden ticket. Turns out, it was just a name tag.

⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Eleanor "Queen’s Gambit" Westfield ♟️ Played 4D chess - then got checkmated by a ghost nominee.

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 All of the Above 🤷‍♂️ A masterclass in overconfidence and underperformance.

No surprises here - we agree that all three of them badly misplayed their hand in last week’s story! Didn’t catch it (or any other CCC stories)? You can catch up on our website at ccconfidential.vip - tell a friend!