Country Club Rebel Without a Cause

Dear readers, this week’s tale comes from the Pacific Northwest where a member’s son created more headaches than a Ryder Cup captained by Zach Johnson. So buckle up, put your rain gear on and throw some Nirvana on in the background - we’re heading to Washington state! 

At a club we’ll call Puget Soundgarden CC there was a well respected neurosurgeon with two amazing kids - and one real nightmare. The nightmare kid was his youngest son, who we’ll call Phil Hunting for the purposes of this story. Despite his older siblings straight A report cards, Phil was easily the smartest one. Unfortunately, he did not choose to use his intellectual gifts for the greater good. 

The club was in a town that literally had a “wrong side” of the railroad tracks. While Phil grew up on the right side, he spent all his time with kids from the wrong side. From a very young age he was rebellious and caused trouble everywhere he went, which of course included the time he spent at PSCC. 

Things started innocently enough with the occasional NSFW phrases and illustrations on bathroom stalls and switching the contents of unlocked lockers overnight, but over time the behavior went from bad to worse. As Phil got older, his pranks got bolder. 

Benches on the course went missing that would later be discovered at the bottom of a lake. Golf carts were stolen and found miles away off property abandoned and abused. Everyone in the club knew that Phil was behind the mischief, but he never left any evidence behind. He had discovered all the blind spots in the club’s security cameras and exploited them perfectly. 

Then one day he slipped. Late one night he and his crew of miscreants snuck onto the course with plans to spray paint the greens with unkind taunts about the haves and have nots. However, what Phil didn’t know was that the club had hired a night watchman with the sole aim of catching him in the act. After the first green was vandalized the watchman beamed his flashlight right in Phil’s face and snapped a photo. Finally, he was caught red handed.

Phil was banned from PSCC after that day and the membership breathed a collective sigh of relief. For several years peace remained and rumor had it Phil’s pranks had continued to escalate outside of PSCC to the point that he did a stint in the county jail. 

But dear readers, you know how these stories go.

During the club’s most prestigious member-guest tournament - the social event of the season - Phil made his triumphant return. As hundreds of members and guests enjoyed their cocktails and compared afternoon scores, a different kind of score was being settled on the 12th green. 

The fire department arrived to find that smoke billowing from the largest green on the course. After putting out the fire, there in clear six-foot letters it read: “I’M BACK.”

Once again, no one could prove that Phil was behind the arson, but everybody knew it was him. The club tried to press charges, but with no proof the case went nowhere. Phil was never seen at the club again after that day, leaving nothing behind but a scorched signature and a legend that lives on at PSCC.

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

Ghosts may not be real, but The Golf Gods certainly are! What sin do they reserve their greatest punishment for?

🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Not raking bunkers/repairing divots (4)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Cheating in any way, shape or form (11)

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Saying anything along the lines of "My game is in a pretty good place right now" (6)

Congrats to our “Comment of the Week” winner - Jeremy P.

Adding to the ways that cheaters cheat, Jeremy commented “Especially the golfer that NEEDS to identify their ball in the rough, lifting it knowing it's certainly their ball, a placing it back on a "fluffy" lie.”

For his insightful comment, Jeremy wins a dozen balls from LA Golf!

Do you see that? All you had to do was vote in a poll, leave a comment and you could have won them - but you let Jeremy P. win them instead! Don’t let it happen again - ROCK THE VOTE!

How a country club member won a bet but lost more than his dignity in this cautionary tale about drinking and diving!

How Can I Refer My Friends?

That’s our favorite question! It’s easy - just send them this link and tell them to join the best club in the world - Country Club Confidential!

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