Golfer's Double-Life Exposed!

Whispers still echo in the card room of a prominent West Coast country club about a story that reminds us all to avoid cheating, both on the course and off. In this particular case, a club member was caught in a lie that cost him more than a two stroke penalty…

It was the early 1960’s and it was the height of the Mad Men era. Drinking on the job was assumed, secretaries were mistreated the way cart girls are today and husbands figuratively, and in some cases literally, got away with murder (those stories lie ahead in future CCC editions).

It was in this era that a member we’ll just call Mr. Fibb had a standing Friday afternoon round with the guys. As a self-described “drinker with a golfing problem” he was known to knock ‘em back with the best of ‘em and while he drank hard on the course, he put ‘em down harder at the bar when the 19th hole came around.

Because he was often in no condition to drive home, a pattern became established where he would “sleep it off” in the men’s locker room and return home the next morning to his wife after a shower and a change of clothes. Mrs. Fibb, a trusting homemaker with a heart of gold, would have breakfast ready with no questions asked… until one fateful day when she became the lead interrogator in her own personal arson investigation.

“Where have you been?” asked Mrs. Fibb on a Saturday morning that seemed no different than most before. “What do you mean sweetheart? I hit it a little too hard after golf and slept it off at the club. You didn’t want me driving, did you?” he replied. “No, of course not. It’s just that you look like you are okay,” she said suspiciously. “Well maybe on the outside, but I sure do have one hell of a hangover!” he joked, trying to lighten the mood - but her unusually serious demeanor made it clear that she wasn’t in a joking mood.

“What I mean is I don’t see any ash or burn marks,” she said. Flummoxed, he could only muster a meager half-joke. “Of course not. Ash Wednesday isn’t until next month.” With a smirk, Mrs. Fibb casually turned the local newspaper she was reading around to show him a headline reading “Local Country Club Burned Down in Evening Fire.”

“So do you still want to tell me you passed out at the club or can we just move on to you telling me about this mistress of yours?”

Last anyone heard, Mr. Fibb found himself in divorce court and surrendered his membership due to fiscal instability. No word on how things worked out between him and his mistress, but we’re pretty sure that flame died down too!

So dear reader, if you find yourself tempted to follow in the footsteps of Mr. Fibb just remember the infamous words of Vincent Vega - “When you play with matches, you get burned!”

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

Charles Montgomery IV was last seen playing at a local muni under an assumed name. Which name do you think he's using?

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ Adam Driver (8)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Jeremy Irons (15)

🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Ricky Wedges (12)

Congrats to our “Comment of the Week” winner - Matt B.

Matt’s comment was more of a continuation of the story with Ricky Wedges making a foray into the adult entertainment business which ended with this line: Nowadays “Ricky Wedges” is known for sinking shots in all the right places!” For his highly engaged and unusually robust word-count comment, Matt wins a hosted round of golf at a Los Angeles area country club!

Vote in the poll above and make your comment for a chance to win next week’s prize!

The life of a cart girl ain’t easy, but the story of how this cart girl played the game into a winning hand at a member’s expense is an instant classic!

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