Naked & Afraid: The High Dive Wager

Dear readers, this week's tale pairs two common fears - heights and public nudity - then wraps them into a story that includes gambling, excessive alcohol consumption and suspensions. These ingredients blended together create a virtual Long Island Iced Tea cocktail in the Country Club Confidential universe. So grab your robe and get ready for a story that will make that time you pulled out your driver on an island green short par 4 seem like a good decision by comparison!

At a California club we'll call Sandy Dunes CC stands a relic from a bygone era - a high dive that towers over the swimming pool like a monument to questionable decision-making. In today's litigious world, it's a miracle that this diving board has survived, hovering above a surprisingly shallow 10-foot depth that would make any insurance adjuster reach for their anxiety medication.

The high dive happens to be in plain view of the men's card room, a sanctuary of gin rummy, heavy pours, and the kind of verbal sparring that would make a sailor blush. Over the years, this combination of altitude, alcohol, and attitude has spawned more ill-advised wagers than a Japanese interpreter for the LA Dodgers.

The card room regulars have witnessed everything from impromptu 40-yard dashes (resulting in more pulled hamstrings than a retirement community tennis match) to midnight Greco-Roman wrestling matches between former high school athletes who forgot that gravity is undefeated.

But the crown jewel of these wagers involves passing around a hat that gets filled with anywhere between $500 and $1,000 - the prize for anyone willing to strip down to their birthday suit and take the plunge. Like most bad ideas involving peer pressure and alcohol, this challenge has found more than a few takers over the years. The board, of course, officially frowns upon such behavior, but the unwritten rule of "what happens in the card room stays in the card room" had kept these nocturnal nudists safe from suspension.

Enter our protagonist, whom we'll call Sammy Rai, whose liquid courage kicked in a few hours too early one fateful evening. Without the cover of darkness to protect his dignity (among other things), Sammy decided that the pot of cash was worth the risk. As the sun was still setting, he made his way to the high dive, disrobed, and took flight.

While the card room erupted in cheers, an unsuspecting female member walking through a nearby patio caught what she was pretty sure was a naked man flying through the air. Though she couldn't identify the airborne exhibitionist, her report to the club set off an investigation that would make the Warren Commission look like a game of Clue.

The board identified all the card room suspects through their bar chits, but the regulars closed ranks like they were protecting the recipe for Augusta National's pimento cheese. However, when Sammy was called before the board and asked point-blank if he was the culprit, he folded faster than a weekend golfer with the club championship on the line.

The six-month suspension that followed cost Sammy way more than his $800 winnings. He spent his exile playing municipal courses, where the “card room” consisted of four old timers playing checkers around a plastic outdoor table and the closest thing to a high dive was the awkward step down from the pro shop trailer.

Meanwhile, the card room crew learned two valuable lessons: their code of silence worked perfectly (when someone could actually keep their mouth shut), and the pot needed a few more zeros to make the bet worthwhile in the post-Sammy era.

These days at Sandy Dunes, the diving board still stands tall, the pot for naked diving has tripled, and Sammy? He's become a legend for all the wrong reasons. While he's back playing the member-guest and enjoying those infamous card room pours, he’s discovered that losing your shirt at cards is a whole lot better than losing everything else atop the high dive.

So remember dear readers, while most water hazards only cost you a stroke and distance, some can cost you six months of membership!

***VOTE IN THE POLL BELOW, COMMENT AND WIN A PRIZE!***

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

If Phil was your son, what would you do to straighten him out?

🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Beat him with a switch (8)

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Show him love and affection (2)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Send him away to boarding school (11)

Congrats to our “Comment of the Week” winner - David T.

With his clever suggestion of another disciplinary tactic, David commented “He should be sent to the maintenance shed and sentenced to several months of forced golf course labor - to see the impact he had on the real workers over the years!”

For his tough-love comment, David wins a dozen balls from LA Golf!

Do you see that? All you had to do was vote in a poll, leave a comment and you could have won them - but you let David T. win them instead! Don’t let it happen again - ROCK THE VOTE!

Forget Cocaine Cowboys, the Cocaine Caddies of the 1980’s were the real legends - and we’ve got a story about the Kingpin that will have you wondering why we don’t have a Netflix deal yet!

How Can I Refer My Friends?

That’s our favorite question! It’s easy - just send them this link and tell them to join the best club in the world - Country Club Confidential!

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