🔹 CCC’s new comic The Cartbarn Captain presented by Sole Tigre launches next week - stay tuned!

🔹 Congrats to the Comment Contest winner Alan K. - see winning comment below.

Dear readers, member-guest weekends run on a simple bargain. The host club opens the bar and the guests try like hell to get their money’s worth. Most of the time that arrangement works out fine.

At a club we'll call Recital CC, a member we'll call Beau was hosted by his brother for the annual member-guest. The first round did not go well. Nothing disastrous, just the kind of round that quietly ends a team's chances before lunch. It was the sort of score that wasn’t humiliating when it was written on the big board in golf calligraphy, but there was a hint of shame. 

After the second nine both brothers had arrived at the same conclusion without needing to say it out loud. They were not winning this thing. There was no reason to hold back. So they didn’t.

The clubhouse bar stayed open well past the point where most teams had gone home, and Beau and his brother were still there closing it down alongside a handful of other players who had reached the same conclusion about their own scorecards. As the staff started flipping chairs up onto the tables, somebody suggested moving the evening somewhere with no closing hours. Fortunately for them, Beau had booked a hotel room nearby and the group headed there to keep the party going.

The hotel room party escalated the way these things do, incrementally and then all at once. Deep enough into the night that nobody was tracking the clock anymore, Beau made the call that took this from a fun little story to Country Club Confidential lore. He arranged for some “paid company” to join the party. 

Shortly thereafter, the professional company arrived. A bluetooth speaker appeared, and Beau's phone was running the music. One of the ladies asked to take over as DJ. She just needed him to unlock his phone.

A quick word here, dear readers. If you take nothing else from this story, take this. Do not unlock your phone and hand it to a stranger, no matter how the night is going.

Beau unlocked it. She played DJ. Nobody thought about it again until the next morning.

The tee time came early, the way it always does at a member-guest, whether or not anyone is ready for it. The second day at Recital runs long, twenty seven holes to make sure every team gets its money's worth, which under the circumstances felt less like a tournament format and more like a punishment. Somewhere in the middle of it, while playing golf that reflected exactly how the previous night had gone, Beau checked his phone. 

Six Venmo confirmation emails. Two thousand dollars apiece. Twelve thousand dollars, sent to an account he had never seen, sometime during the early morning hours.

He read the emails twice, the way you do when what you’re reading is bad enough that the first read doesn’t fully register. Then he spent most of the round on hold with customer service instead of thinking about his short game. The banks were closed for the weekend, so there was nothing to do but keep playing and wait.

By Monday the account that had received the money was already emptied and closed. The woman from the hotel room, it turned out, had a second job, and it paid considerably better than the first.

Beau's team did not win the member-guest that year. They did not come particularly close. But if you ask around Recital, people still remember that member-guest, just not for anything that happened on the course.

The following year's member-guest invitation arrived with a new line near the bottom, one nobody remembered seeing before, gently reminding participants that any off-property arrangements during the weekend were the responsibility of each individual team. Nobody at Recital ever said why it was added. Nobody had to.

And so, dear readers, let this be a lesson to you. When the open bar closes, sometimes it is best to let the night end. Beau didn’t. He paid in full.

Where do you draw the line when it comes to golf cheats?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Improving a bad lie (17)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Taking a generous drop (5)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Posting a dishonest score / handicap manipulation (75)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Using a hidden ball-marker trick (6)

Sandbaggers beware! You have been overwhelmingly called out by the CCC readership! We can’t say we disagree - nothing worse than a dishonest golfer. And apparently there are more than a few of them out there!

Congrats again to comment contest winner Alan K. who said, “There’s no place in golf for cheaters, but there is a place in hell for them!” We like your fire Alan (pun intended) and we will be sending you a sleeve of LA GOLF balls for the winning comment!

Don’t forget to catch up on past stories at ccconfidential.vip - and while you’re at it, tell a friend!

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