Revenge of the Cart Girl

This tale comes from a California country club where a member took a particular liking to one of the cart girls. Bored with his wife at home and looking for something new, he ordered more than a Bloody Mary and quickly found himself in over his head. Here’s the story as we heard it…

A member who we’ll call Phil Anderer couldn’t believe he pulled it off! To the astonishment of both him and his buddies, he got a date with the cart girl after a cheezy pickup line actually worked. Ignoring the fact that he was married and twice her age, he went ahead with the date and soon found himself in a not-so-secret relationship with the cart girl.

As time went on the double life was going down harder than the cart girl’s famous double pours and he came clean to his wife… who quickly left him and took half his assets (remember, we’re in California). However, he still had his club membership and did pretty well financially, so he moved out of his luxurious home and into a one-bedroom apartment with the cart girl.

A few months later, at the cart girl’s urging and against his better judgement, they took a trip to City Hall and got married. As a result of the marriage, the cart girl was now a member of the club. As you might expect, she promptly quit her job and applied all her energy into a new career - vindictive country club socialite hell bent on getting even with all the members who treated her poorly!

The new marriage was soon on the rocks, like a heavy pour of Casamigos. The sweet, innocent cart girl had become an absolute nightmare and quickly alienated all of her husband’s golf buddies, threatening to tell their wives about the corny pick-up lines and suggestive innuendos they had thrown her way over the years.

He tried bribing her with jewelry and expensive vacations, but nothing worked. His trophy wife was draining his bank account, ruining his friendships and on top of it all, not participating in “husband and wife stuff” anymore. To top it off, after a year of being unhappily married (again!) he found himself on the receiving end of divorce papers citing “irreconcilable differences” and “emotional distress.”

Needless to say, she cleaned him out in the divorce, but this time he lost more than his 401k - she took the club membership! Despite his pleas, the judge sided with the former cart girl and allegedly said, “I suggest you work on your game off the course for a while.”

So dear reader, heed this advice - if you’re unhappy at home feel free to find joy on the golf course… just be aware that the bunkers aren’t the only hazards out there!

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

Mr. Fibb cheated on his wife - which means he probably cheated in golf too. What type of cheater is the worst kind in golf?

🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ The "foot wedge" guy (6)

🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️ The "magic eraser" guy (11)

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 The "index manager" guy (17)

The “index manager” guy takes the top spot as the worst kind of cheater! Congrats to Mike R. who won our comment contest by voting for “index manager” and adding “his handicap is honesty!” For taking the time to vote and leaving a witty comment, he wins a Winged Foot golf towel!

How an everyman recieved the most coveted invitation in golf… and completely blew it!

How Can I Refer My Friends?

That’s our favorite question! It’s easy - just send them this link and tell them to join the best club in the world - Country Club Confidential!

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