SEX, LIES & A VIDEOTAPE

Dear readers, this one comes to us from a friend of a member who was in the room. We’re told it happened in the early 90s. We’re also told the stars of the film have no idea anyone saw it, though a healthy section of the membership has heard all about it.

For those too young to remember, golf instruction used to run on VHS. The pro filmed your swing, then sat you down in his back office a few days later to watch it on a small television. At the time, this was state-of-the-art.

The club owned one camcorder. It lived in a locked cabinet in the pro shop, and the pro usually left the lesson tape in it until the review. That was the system.

One ordinary afternoon, a member came in to review his lesson. The pro slid the tape into the VCR, dimmed the lights and sat down next to him.

The lesson was like any other. A stance, a waggle followed by a flawed amateur swing. The pro said something about staying on plane and getting better hip action.

Then the last swing of the lesson played. The pro stood up to turn off the VCR, but before he could, the picture suddenly cut.

It was no longer golf. The pro had recorded the lesson over an earlier recording. Just not all of it.

According to our source, it took a moment for either man to understand what he was looking at. The pro said “Is that…” and did not finish the sentence.

They both quickly recognized the people in it.

One was a member, young, single and well liked. The other a female pro shop worker. People had noticed they were friendly, but nobody had pictured it going much further. Well, apparently it had gone a good deal further, and it was now playing in the back office at full volume.

Neither man moved. There was nowhere to look but the screen and nothing to say about what was on it. After a few moments, the pro finally turned off the monitor.

He hit eject. He took the tape out and put it inside his jacket pocket. Neither man said a word. The member who came for his lesson stood up, looked at the carpet and left.

A few weeks later, the young member started asking around about a lost tape. He said it was a swing tape. Everyone gave him the same answer, which was that they hadn’t seen it. The pro who had seen it said he’d keep an eye out. It never turned up.

Now here’s where a pretty interesting story gets a lot more interesting. It turns out what started as a fling became much more serious. The member and the employee ended up getting married.

The member who saw the tape was invited to the wedding and attended without having to use his imagination about what would happen later that night.

He had told a few people about what he saw. That’s all it took. The rest of the club eventually heard a version of the story.

To this day, we’re told neither the bride nor the groom knows anyone saw the recording. They’re still married. They’re still members of the club. And a surprising number of people around them know considerably more about their early relationship than they realize.

As for the tape, nobody knows where it went. The pro left the club a few months after the incident, and the recording hasn’t surfaced since. But one screening was all it took.

And so, dear readers, the remarkable thing about this story isn’t that the club managed to keep a secret for over thirty years.

It’s that they managed to keep it from exactly two people.

What would you do if you discovered a friend had been manipulating his handicap to win your money?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Demand every dollar back (24)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Report him to the handicap committee (21)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Never play with him again (80)
⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Ask him to teach me how he did it (5)

We had a feeling this one would win in a landslide. Also, five of you will be hearing from our handicap chair - you know who you are.

Congrats to our comment contest winner Shane P. who said, “If a ‘friend’ pulled something like that he’d be dead to me, and possibly dead to everyone else as well!” That was a little dark Shane, but we liked it! A sleeve of LA GOLF balls will be on their way.