The Golf Bum
When Your Membership Outlasts Your Mortgage

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The 6:12 guy never missed.
Not when it rained. Not on holidays. Not the morning after member-guest when half the field was still drunk in the grill room.
At a club we’ll call Hillcrest Ridge, where the initiation was $2,500 and the average membership lasted eighteen months, punctuality didn't make you stand out. It made you invisible.
Which is exactly what he was counting on.
The club survived on churn. Young families joined thinking they'd discovered a deal, played every weekend for two summers, then quietly disappeared when the credit card bill started looking like a car payment. The GM didn't ask questions. If your auto-draft cleared and you weren't abusive to staff, you could fade into the wallpaper.
He was the kind of member you nodded to even if you weren't totally sure you knew his name.
So nobody noticed that their most reliable regular hadn't left the property in four months.
The tells were everywhere. He showered at 5:45 am and 7:00 pm - precise as a train schedule. His locker contained one towel, one pair of FootJoys and travel bottles that never went home because there was no home to go to.
And that faded blue Explorer in the back row, always backed into the corner space next to the equipment shed? The one with paper sunshades in every window and Pennsylvania plates that expired in July?
Nobody wondered why it never moved.
Until the overnight security guy did his midnight loop and saw his breath fog against the driver's side window.
He knocked.
The member jerked awake behind the wheel, surrounded by club-logo blankets, a hanging garment bag and a neat stack of envelopes stamped FINAL NOTICE in red.
"Just... early tee time," he managed. "Wanted to beat traffic."
At 12:15 a.m. On a Wednesday.
The head pro sat him down at 7 a.m. Closed door. No witnesses.
"How long?"
Long pause. "Since May."
It was December.
The story came out like a deposition. Regional sales job, gone in a restructuring email. Divorce filed three weeks later. Leveraged everything on a condo rehab that died when rates spiked. Savings lasted two months. Apartment lease wasn't renewed. Moved into a weekly motel until that burned through the last credit card.
One Tuesday morning he woke up with $140 in his checking account and nowhere left to go except the one place that still treated him like he mattered.
"I figured," he told the pro later, "if I'm gonna be homeless, might as well do it somewhere with a shower and a pro shop. Beats the hell out of sleeping under a bridge."
So he drove to Hillcrest Ridge. Parked in the dead zone. Slept in the backseat. Shaved in the men's locker at dawn before the retirees arrived. Rotated three polos and two pairs of pants. Survived on $7 grill dogs and whatever he could stomach from the halfway cart.
He never stayed in the locker room longer than five minutes. Treated it like a crime scene where he was the suspect.
He tipped 30% on everything. Terrified someone would notice.
"But you kept paying dues," the pro said.
"It was the only thing I had left that looked normal."
Monthly auto-draft: $415. Cheaper than rent. More valuable than anything else that money could buy.
At a real club, the kind with a coat check and a wine cellar, a situation like this becomes a crisis. Lawyers get involved. Liability assessments. A strongly-worded letter about appropriate use of facilities.
At Hillcrest Ridge, it became a quiet agreement between four people who decided not to make it weird.
The assistant pro "found" a part-time job picking the range and staging carts - twenty hours a week, cash basis, no paperwork. The GM stopped asking about his mailing address. Two guys in the Sunday skins game heard "somebody got wrecked" and left an envelope with the pro: For whoever needs it. Don't need to know names.
Nothing went in the minutes. Nothing hit the group chat.
He kept showing up. First off every morning. Polite in the grill room. Never asked for anything. The Explorer occasionally left overnight now - usually to a Planet Fitness three miles away where a $10 membership bought him a real shower and WiFi.
Four months later, he landed a job. Not his old salary, but steady. Enough for a studio apartment off Route 58 and a couch that didn't fold into a sleeping bag.
The sunshades came down. The envelopes disappeared.
But he never changed parking spots.
Even now - two years later, lease renewed, decent credit score - he still backs into that corner space by the shed. Still sits there for thirty seconds before walking inside.
New members don't know. Old members don't talk about it.
But every few months, when someone threatens to quit over a $15 dues increase, the head pro thinks about the guy who lived in the parking lot for seven months rather than admit he didn't belong anymore.
The club didn't rescue him. It just didn't kick him out.
Which, at a place designed entirely around who belongs and who doesn't, turned out to be the only thing that mattered.
He kept his membership through the worst stretch of his life because somewhere between Space C-7 and the first tee, Hillcrest Ridge had accidentally let him stay human.
Even when he had nowhere else to go.
Poll Question
If you could live like The Golf Bum, would you do it? |
Last Week's Poll Result
Forget the Club Code, what is your favorite rule in the Muni Code?
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Golf shirts must be untucked at all times
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 If you're not sneaking beer onto the course, you're not trying
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Thou shalt not repair divots or rake bunkers
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Always leave your hat on when you go indoors
No big surprise here. Why buy Miller Lites at $5 a pop when you can throw a dozen in your bag for $14? You don’t need to be an economics major to see the logic in that!
Thanks to all our CCC members that took a minute to vote, and a special thanks to the ones that sent us a comment. We love seeing them!
Lastly, if you are a newer subscriber don’t forget to catch up on past stories at ccconfidential.vip - and while you’re at it, tell a friend!


When a beloved starter is asked to cover for a no-show caddie at a member-guest, the worst anyone figured could go wrong was a few bad reads. But with alcohol flowing freely, things got out of hand - quickly! Can’t wait for next Thursday to share this one with our CCC members!

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