Membership's Secret Screening

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Dear readers, in the 1980s, many clubs boasted rigorous vetting, but at one storied East Coast bastion, the real test began when candidates thought the scrutiny was done. Paperwork, references, the committee dinner? Mere formalities. For "bubble candidates" - neither locks nor rejects - a series of sly challenges awaited, crafted to expose character when they believed no one was watching.

"We ran this for nearly twenty years," our source confides. "One in five got the full gauntlet. The rest either breezed in or faded into the waitlist abyss."

The mastermind was Harrison Winthrop III (not his real name), a seventy-something, third-generation member who chaired "The Gate" - officially the Member Relations Committee. Sipping Dewar's from a club-crested tumbler, he led with a former FBI investigator whose role stayed off the books. "Bank statements show what you've done," Winthrop growled. "We wanted to see who you are when the mask drops."

Their tests were devilish. "The Deliberate Mistake" kicked things off: a $50 overcharge at the pro shop. Courtesy or condescension? "One prospect tore into the assistant so fiercely we canceled his courtesy round with a fake 'sprinkler malfunction' and never invited him back" our source recalls.

Next came "The Parking Test": the valet "lost" their keys for twenty minutes while committee members watched from the clubhouse. Grace or rage? Then "The Caddie Crisis": a disheveled looper - often a club veteran who relished his “acting role” - misread yardages and stepped in lines. "One candidate handed our 'hungover' caddie water and Tylenol, even adjusted his Ben Hogan visor before teeing off," Winthrop said. "He later became our club president."

"The Rules Dilemma" upped the ante. A spotter with binoculars would follow the group and often caught a questionable drop or “foot wedge” during the round. When they recapped their performance over Tom Collins cocktails, would they confess or soak up unearned praise? "This test once eliminated a Wall Street arbitrage trader," our source confided. "Drove a Porsche 911 Turbo, had impeccable references from two senators, pledged six figures to our foundation – none of it mattered after what we saw."

The final act, "The Big-Money Moment," was an "accidental" invite to a $5,000 buy-in game in Reagan-era dollars. Over a cigar, Winthrop always offered an out: admit discomfort or fake ease? "It wasn’t about if they could afford it. It was about honesty," he insisted. "We didn't want members who pretended to be something they weren't - they poison a club."

Not everyone approved. In 1986, younger members questioned the old guard's methods. Winthrop just smirked, flashing a manila folder full of rejected candidates with reports on what they had been up to after their rejection. “Wealth doesn’t equal character,” he reminded everyone.

The proof was in the pudding. A stock broker that failed the pro shop test now faced insider trading charges. A plastic surgeon who berated the valet lost his medical license for ethics violations. Most telling: a tech executive who passed every test but was rejected anyway for "just something off about him" later became known for one of the 80s' most notorious hostile takeovers. The Gate could spot trouble a fairway off.

The club even rigged a discreet 8mm camera in various places to further vet bubble candidates, its reels reviewed by Winthrop and company over Scotch in the library.

Today, those tapes are buried in storage, and vetting's gone tame. But whispers linger: do some clubs still play these games? For those joining between 1970 and 1990, they were subjected to a membership process far more intrusive than they ever knew.

So dear readers, remember this - character always counts - even when you don’t think anyone’s keeping score. And these days? Someone always is.

Poll Question

Last Week's Poll Result

If you got ‘The Letter’ from your club, what would it most likely be for? 🤔📬

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🔘 🚀 “Accidentally” launching one into the Club President

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🔘 🐶 Bringing an unlicensed ‘goose removal specialist’

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🔘 🏎️ Turning the charity tournament into a demolition derby

🟨🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 🔘 🤦‍♂️ Something way worse (drop it in the comments!) 

Looks like a lot of you hit big drives and aren’t afraid to challenge authority! We commend you - don’t forget to vote in this week’s poll above!

A big congrats again to Alan E. for winning our comment contest. He stated that if he was to get a letter it would simply read, “You’re not a member of this club. Please stop trespassing.” We love your moxie Alan - but be careful sneaking into country clubs!