NOT IN GOOD STANDING

Dear readers, there are many ways to get thrown out of a private country club. You can cheat in the member-guest, stop paying your dues, say the wrong thing to the wrong member's wife or do something regrettable at the Christmas party. 

At one of America's more prestigious clubs, you can get thrown out for suing the place.

It began, as it so often does, with a disagreement over dinner.

An elderly member and his wife had been denied a table in the dining room. A club governor, essentially a member of the board and the kind of man who reads the financial statements and asks questions out loud, intervened on their behalf. 

The club would later say he verbally abused a staff member, and not for the first time. He said the whole thing was an excuse to get rid of him.

The governor had recently been asking uncomfortable questions about the club's finances. Where was the employee holiday fund going? How were the bonuses being distributed? And why were two employees allegedly using club resources to develop an artisanal pizza business?

The pizza allegations would eventually make their way into court filings, which is a lot further than most country club pizzas travel.

The board investigated the dining room incident and voted to remove him by the narrowest margin a board can manage. At most clubs, a vote that close means you revisit the issue after a few drinks. At this club, it meant lawyers.

Several fellow governors, including men still serving on the board, joined him in suing the club's leadership. They wanted him reinstated and, more importantly, they wanted access to the club's financial records. The club said his removal was justified. The plaintiffs said it was retaliation for asking questions.

Lawyers were retained. Then more lawyers, to keep an eye on the first lawyers. The staff member at the center of the original dispute eventually filed a lawsuit too, alleging that the club's leadership had misrepresented what happened.

By the time the case went to trial, there were dozens of witnesses and thousands of pages of testimony. The financial questions had been simmering for months. The dinner dispute brought everything to a boil.

Meanwhile, the club received some excellent news. It had been awarded another major golf championship, scheduled for the next decade. Whatever was happening in the boardroom, the golf course remained in good standing.

Then, after a lengthy trial, the judge ruled for the club. The governor's removal had been proper. The lawsuit was dismissed.

Everyone could finally get back to golf.

The plaintiffs appealed.

The club responded by expelling them. All of them. Men who had served on the board, paid their dues and, in some cases, spent years helping run the place were no longer members.

Then the club's lawyers went to the appeals court and argued that the plaintiffs had no standing to appeal because they were no longer members.

The club had removed the plaintiffs and was now citing their removal as grounds to throw out their appeal.

The expelled members filed another lawsuit, claiming their expulsions had been rushed through specifically to stop the appeal. The appeals court declined to dismiss the original appeal outright, leaving the question of their standing to be argued later.

The pizza business was beginning to look like the straightforward part.

Somebody had to pay for all of this, and by somebody we mean everybody.

The legal bills had climbed into the millions. The club's insurers reportedly declined to cover what they considered an internal membership dispute, leaving the membership to foot the bill.

The board proposed a special assessment.

The members voted it down.

The board regrouped, provided additional explanations and brought the assessment back for another vote. This time it passed, narrowly. The lawyers, as always, would get paid.

And through all of it, the club's next major championship remains on the calendar. Some of the world's best golfers will compete on a course whose members have spent millions arguing about who gets to belong.

And so, dear readers, the lesson this week is simple. If you decide to sue a well-heeled country club, you may want to clean out your locker first.

At Cheyenne Country Club in Wyoming, a man driving a GMC pickup truck reportedly tore across the golf course, through bunkers and over greens, before crashing through a fence and fleeing the property.

According to Yahoo Sports, police eventually caught up with the driver after a slow-speed chase through downtown Cheyenne.

No word on whether the truck was assessed a cart fee.

Have a great “nugget” that isn’t quite a CCC story, but is still too good not to share? Submit it here!

What do you think about clubs that don’t allow women on the property?

🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Their club, their rules (17)
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜️⬜️ Fine, until common sense intervenes (52)
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Completely outdated (67)
🟨⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ Depends. Is she the paramedic? (11)

No big surprises here, but were there any great comments? Yes there were! Congrats to this week’s Comment Contest winner B.E. who said, “I question the manliness of any man who wouldn't want women in their club.” A fair point that earned him a sleeve of LA GOLF balls from CCC!